Due to life, I was unable to respond to directly to this letter by Carol Weston which talks about how horrible the childhood obesity epidemic is. Apparently It wouldn't have mattered because the New York Times printed no rebuttals from the fat community.
Dear Ms. Weston,
Can I call you Carol?
Like my peers, when I was a kid, I ate a lot of junk and highly processed food. The 1980’s was a big time to eat out of boxes, and soda, pizza, and candy were plentiful. In school every time there was a birthday, each kid would get one cupcake. I wasn’t into pizza until I was nine and then I couldn't get enough. For lunch, I usually went home to a sandwich or a can of soup, but once a week, for $2 I was able to get a slice, a small soda, and four things of candy (The candy lasted me most of the week). My peers were also stuffing themselves with pizza, candy, and soda. When I was nine something else happened, I started to get chubby (Maybe you're right, maybe it was the pizza) but I suppose I was still safe in your book, Carol, as I was still XL but not XXXL (Because after XL you cease to be human.)
However in the 80’s, there wasn’t any concern about the self-esteem of kids and teens. I was fat and told to diet. No one mentioned dieting didn't work. And when I started, it took 17 years to stop. Meanwhile my thinner peers were ignored, weren’t told to skip pizza and the soda. We were told the basics of good nutrition, but the fat kids were singled out to change the way they eat.
A lot has changed since the 80s. It is not acceptable to put a child on a diet. And the general consensus is that dieting doesn’t work. It is also became less acceptable to call your child fat. Even if they are fat.
However there is still a massive push to be thin or else. Like me, fat kids are still singled out for their weight where thin kids aren’t. (Or told that if they eat that way they’ll get fat.) Fat kids are the reason schools don’t have cupcakes, pizza or soda (Please keep in mind, I’m pro healthy foods in school and regular gym, but I think an occasional cupcake, pizza or soda is not a big deal.)
You say you’re against dieting but you pressure kids to lose weight. What do you think a fat girl will do with your information? What do you think happens when she see signs like this?
After having read the "Invitation to a Dialogue: Talking About Obesity" I penned a response and sent it in. Here is what I wrote:
Everyone dies! Fat, skinny, nice, mean, everyone dies. The argument that being obese will lead to death and cost society money is the one argument I think I despise the most. Do not give birth if you do not wish your children to die.
Living in a world of hyper-health consciousness as a large person is a constant rebellion against society. I have never thought it was right to be told if I didn't want to be teased I should lose weight. No ma'am, if I didn't want to be teased the person doing the teasing should be taught to behave properly. At 6 and 7 years old, unfortunately, I thought teaching was best done with my fists. It is a fight, though, to live in this world as something other than "normal" size. It's a fight I'm willing to take on and have since that first kindly old lady said "what a pretty face... if only you'd lose weight." Those double edged compliments were killers.
However, I do believe Ms. Weston was correct in saying it isn't something we should stop talking about. The fact is people are large and it should not matter. My daughter is large and beautiful and I have taught her to tare up the BMI letter sent home from her school that informs us in a institutionalized way that she is obese. The hatred and discrimination against large people is one of the most cherished of isms it seems.... racism, sexism, anti-semitism, none seem right but size-ism is the butt of a joke. Everyone can get behind that. Most especially the diet industry, which has reaped millions if not billions and cost far more lives, though no one likes to talk about the impact self-loathing has on a person.
Ms. Weston's well meaning advice to eat right and move more needs to be replaced with a far more aggressive response to negativity toward body size and shape. So what if someone is large. Everyone dies, stop with the double edged compliments and the careful advice that kills the soul long before the body expires. Offer ways to rejoice in life, to feel the power of our bodies, large or small, to dance, to sing, to laugh, to eat and to love. Self-love is the only remedy to body image issues, and the awareness of what makes us unique.
Posted by: Lori Stahl-Van Brackle | June 30, 2014 at 09:47 PM