I'm having a perfect storm of deadlines today, so I thought I post an IGIGI reprint. The Holidays are going to be here soon and I don't want anyone to feel guilty if they have seconds!
I recently finished two books Fat Girl by Judith Moore and The Gospel of Food by Barry Glassner (Author of The Culture of Fear). Both books have to do with food. Judith Moore is a sad tale about a fat girl horribly abused by her mother who seeks solace in food. The Gospel of Food is about our misconceptions and relationships with food. It includes a chapter about the myth of obesity. I grew up a dieter and learned some very convoluted beliefs about food, some that still haunt me today even after giving up dieting. I started by making up my own diet that consisted of ice milk, rice cakes, melba toast and low-fat TV dinners, I ended it doing low carb dieting that was seriously jeopardizing my health. I didn’t think anything was wrong at the time because I thought it was more important to be thin than healthy. I thought that poor health would okay in the long run because I would be thin.
Ideas about food are so ingrained in society. Sugar, Fats, Carbohydrates have all been vilified as the cause of the “Obesity” crisis. People become afraid to eat. When I got fat suddenly food became black or white, good or evil, you get the picture. I was refused certain foods unlike my thin friends who were still allowed to eat with abandon. These forbidden foods I began to eat as much as a could sneak. And so began my career or dieting and binging, sneaking food and hating myself for it. Thinking myself inferior because if you are fat you are supposed diet and succeed. I had no idea that 95% of diets fail. Growing up, dieting was a normal response to being fat. Instead what I was doing was making myself fatter. In Barry Glassner’s book he also mentioned that the “obesity” crisis started around the time dieting was pushed on society. He also mentioned a study where people who enjoyed food more absorbed it better and that boys who had no food limits put on them tended not to overeat. In the book Overcoming Overeating, a guide to help with binge eating disorder, one of the steps is to not refuse bad food and to learn to treat food like food. I no longer looked at food the same way again. Food became calories, exchanges, fat or carbs depending on what diet I was on. I no longer liked it. It didn’t bring me pleasure or joy.
About three years ago I ate at a wonderful French restaurant in Vermont. My husband and I were served bread, cheese, lamb, potatoes, and four desserts (we mentioned it was our anniversary and the chef gave us free desserts.) We ate it all and the meal was so fantastic that I didn’t feel hunger until about 24 hours later.
Of course I could only think of “Four Desserts!” Four Desserts! I’m going to wake up tomorrow weighing one ton and have to hauled out in a flat bed truck! How dare I eat four desserts! Despite that I no longer dieted, I was on vacation and was walking everywhere, I felt guilty for indulging. This negative talk did not stop me from have crème brulee the next time I had French food, but I didn’t fully enjoy it because of the hangups about eating.
In reality, food is meant to be enjoyed not seen in shades of black or white. We all need to break the spell, we have to sit down to a meal and enjoy it, not worry if we are having too much fat, carbs, sugar, calories or how much we will weigh in the morning. Food is meant no only to sustain us but to entertain and enjoy. And we need to learn to enjoy food again, sin and all.
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