For the first time in my adult life as a fat person, I wore a bikini top in public. I wore one before at a NAAFA (National Association to Advance FAT Acceptance) convention knowing there I wouldn’t feel body shamed but I never wore one outside a fat loving environment. Before I gave up dieting and learned to love my body I never went swimming without a t-shirt. I was terrified I would be judged as a big fat fattie and thought covering my body would magically make me look thin.
After I gave up dieting, I stopped wearing a t-shirt but I wasn’t quite ready to show my belly in public. Deep down I knew I should--that exposing my beautiful body for the world to see would be my final step for loving my body completely.
Like the letter you received from “Offended Daughter”, my arcane BMI makes me about 70 lbs overweight. Weight, I might add, which came less from overeating and more from genetics and yo-yo dieting. I love to swim more than anything. But it took an article about a brave fat (and gorgeous) woman who wore a bikini in public to inspired me to buy a bikini top from Love Your Peaches and then wear it in public. Did I need advice? No. I'm loving my body more and more everyday and I love my bikini. I continue to swim, walk, and ride my bike.
I’m here to talk about your unwarranted advice and your fat shaming.
“Offended Daughter” didn’t ask you about her doctor or her health. She asked about what to do with her fatophobic mother who couldn’t bear to see rolls of fat on her daughter. Fat people live with this alienation all the time. We are told to cover up (especially when we exercise.) We are constantly bombarded to lose weight, yet the options for weight loss include high failure diets and dangerous weight surgery and pills. You should have told “Offended Daughter” that she should wear her bikini proudly not just at her childhood home but everywhere she swims. If mom doesn’t like it, tough shit.