I recently finished Angry Fat Girlz by Frances Kuffel. The book is about five women and how over a year they attempt to lose weight, gain weight and tried to stop emotional eating (with gaining weight as their only success). I spoke to the author while she wrote the book and she reminded me of myself 10 years ago. At the time, I got that it was okay to be fat (although not too fat) but I was still dieting and binging, still blaming myself if I "cheated". Food was no longer fuel for my body, it instead became a vice. Something to give into when I was stressed.
One of the stories that stood out to me was a woman who had been "abstinent" (that's a code word for strict dieter) for almost two years, went on a binge when she found out a friend was dying of cancer. Instead of returning to healthy habits, she continued to binge (not that what you eat should matter in the situation she was in.) Any healthy habits she'd accumulated went out the window because this is the dieting/binge cycle. You learn no healthy habits. Because now you are binging and nothing positive has stuck. There is no middle ground. You are either perfect or a failure.
The only way I stopped bingeing, using food as a vice or eating when I was stressed was to stop dieting and to stop focusing my life so much on food. Sure I have dietary restrictions: Corn Syrup, Gluten, Nuts, Soy are all no-nos and I tried to avoid fast foods, packaged, canned, etc. But guess what, every once in a while I have them. I'm not a failure for doing so.
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